Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

Brother

I can feel your blood

Flowing in my heart

I can hear your breath

Moving in my lung

I can see your tears

Running down my face

My life without you

Is an empty place

Because your land is my land

Because your blood is my blood

And your soul is my soul

Cause we all are one hand

When you cry

I feel your pain

When you are wounded

I bleed again

When you feel happy

I fly high

When you succeed

I can touch the sky

please tell me your comments ,and if you liked that , can you tell me where to sell my writings ?

thanks alot

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

Your offering needs very little work. You also need to study where and how to use punctuation. At the end of lines 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 18 and 20 all need periods. No commas which is OK because your iambic pentameter is solid and the wording understandable.

You have a great story line and I believe it is more than a poem for your "brother". One can and should express strong feelings for a true friend, companion or lover. Your emotions come through clearly and with passion and depth.

You start your missive with internal emotions and travel the gamut of passion out into the earthly world to an unmistakable high shared just between the two of you. Man, that's heavy!

I love it! You are a natural. I would like to read more of you work, there is more I hope?

I would recommend you read everything you can get your hands on, especially what you can find from about 1920 to current offerings.

This is so good I would put a copywrite bug on it until you can file the paper work. You can get the bug from wingdings.

You are good, don't let this go by the wayside.

jubalum7@yahoo.com

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

I think it's great. Make sure you have proof that you wrote it because I suspect other people might try to claim it. Maybe try submitting it to some magazines. Good Luck!!!

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

Your poem is excellent and brings out a lot of emotion and feelings. I also write poetry. It is nearly impossible to publish poetry these days. Greeting card companies often buy poetry to use in their cards, such as yours might be used in a card for people to express how they feel about their brother.

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

its totally great!

good job!

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

Being a poet myself (I since I enjoy such poems), I think this is an excellent poem. The emotions, the wording--it's quite thought-provoking and inspiring. And it's the truth--not just some boring poem with scattered thoughts, but a poem that shows the bond between brothers, both by blood or by an oath.

I would give this ten stars. You really could publish this, though I don't know where.

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

I like your phrasing and imagery, and I believe the poem would flow better if you rearranged the paragraphs a little. If the first line (Brother) is the title, then you have 3 paragraphs. Try it with the third paragraph placed first, right under "Brother" and see if that works for you. It seems to me like that helps tie the specifics of your relation to the brother with the generalities of your relation to humankind. Good luck with your work. I have been published in student publications, but haven't ever tried to sell my work.

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

Well, I will be honest with you,

Now, the poem is good I mean people might read it.

But I really don't think that anyone would actually buy it

For in your poem, there is no passion

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

read mine its more heartfelt than yours

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

Hmm. I like your rhyme scheme a lot, and your ending is good. It's a little wordy so I would suggest staying away from -ing words and cutting out unimportant words. Like:

Brother

I feel your blood

Flow in my heart

I hear your breath

Move in my lung

I see your tears

Run down your face

My life, without you

Is an empty place

See? It flows much better that way. Try changing that "cause" to "because" to help with the repetition in that bit. Also, try reading it to yourself, and wherever you pause, put a comma or period. Read up on different types of literary devices too.

It's a good poem, certainly publish-worthy, and all you need to do now is edit! Try sending it in to your local newspaper and see where you go from there. Best of luck. :)

Please rate my poem and give me comments .?

I did enjoy the poem... I seen it from two different points of views... I seen it as a blood brother, someone realated to you, yet I also seen it as a some what patriotic piece.

Where can you sell it... I am not sure, submit it is the big thing. When you start getting your works published it becomes easier to sell your works.

Best wishes and good luck!